Trauma & Abuse impact people in so many ways, but one of the biggest effects is on sexuality, intimacy, sexual health & wellness, and specifically the connection people have with their bodies. This also affects the ability to trust ourselves, to trust others, to feel safe enough to feel again, after having shut down parts of yourself in order to survive the events.
Given the sensitive nature of the topic, it is quite often the area that most people don’t get help for and spend the rest of their lives with a constant reminder of their past. Quite often intimacy, physical & emotional, is the hardest thing to allow after an event. We become good at keeping people at a distance, but it becomes impossible to let them close, no matter how much we may want to.
This unfortunately results in living unfulfilling emotional & physical lives, from being disconnected, not being able to allow any sort of closeness, much less relax or respond. Another unfortunate cost is living from a place of fear and avoiding intimacy and sexuality at all costs to the other extreme, not feeling they or their body have any value so indulge in risky behaviours to either feel something or nothing at all. This last part of the cycle can be even more damaging, because quite often there is self judgment attached to this behaviour, when all that is really wanted is closeness & connection, with self and others.
Your sexuality and how you live it and experience it, also affect how you show up in all areas of your life. How you allow intimacy into your relationships, emotional & physical impacts how you are received and what you are able to receive when given.
Reclaiming your capacity & desire for sexuality & intimacy, doesn’t mean you deserved what happened to you. In fact it means the exact opposite, it means that event doesn’t define or control that part of you any longer.
Having a healthy relationship with sexuality and intimacy for yourself and whomever you choose to share it with, is your right and isn’t something anybody should be able to take away from you. Taking back what is rightfully yours, is you taking this last part of your life back.
I have trained extensively for 14 years in this area to help those affected by trauma & abuse, to recover safely & gently, to reclaim their sexuality, emotional & physical capacity for intimacy, personal power and vitality. There is no shame or stigma in wanting this healing for yourself. Having these challenges after trauma & abuse is normal and they can be overcome so you can live a full life.