From Darkness into the Light

There are so many ways to say that – from illness to wellness, from weakness to strength, from discomfort to comfort.

What nobody tells us is that challenges and adversity are normal parts of life and rather than running from them, we should learn to deal with them. This is valuable information people, letting us learn this information only as adults isn’t truly very helpful.

Comfort is there for so many parts of life, in relationships, in physical environments etc., that for most of us, experiencing discomfort is to be avoided at all costs.  We don’t like it and we don’t want to experience it. Nothing in our childhood (typically) prepared us how to deal with it.

Yet here we are, faced with it in so many different ways.  How do we know? Because we can feel it inside, our stomachs get upset, our heart races, we get nauseas, full of anxiety – our internal barometer has a variety of ways to introduce us to this issue.

So, how do we get through this “discomfort”. Well, it’s not as hard as you think, once you commit to doing it and that actually is the first step.

  1.  Commit to addressing this issue of discomfort.  That means dealing with it, not avoiding it, not blacking out from drug or drink, not dissociating, but to be curious and examine our relationship with it and find the tools to move forward.
  2. Start now. There is no “wait until time…” because it never comes and you will stay exactly where you are. Even if you aren’t ready – perfect, even more reason to start now. No excuses.
  3. Look at the discomfort, it is just a feeling and nothing more. It has no power other than the power you give it.
  4. Change your relationship with it.  What is it really telling you? I would hazard to guess that in 99 out of 100 cases, the issue really isn’t equal to the response. Instead of seeing it as a bad thing to be avoided, what would happen if you saw it as a ‘sign” that you are about to experience a growth opportunity? What if you decided to see all the energy in this, as your body giving you that “little extra” to move through this faster and easier? See it as your friend, not your enemy.
  5. Sit with it. Yes, just sit with it.  If you have to put a timer on. I promise you, the moment you start to sit with it, it starts to dissipate.  Its strength and power comes from the energy you put into avoiding it, that is the only way it grows.
  6. Take back your time. How much time are you going to waste on something that doesn’t serve you.  When you can see this discomfort as your friend, your body supplying you with extra energy to move through something, surrendering to it rather than fighting it, you will get your time back.
  7. Accept that every time you embrace it / face it, you grow and your comfort zone is expanded.
  8. Be grateful for the fact that your body works.  You are no longer fighting with yourself and your body, when you honour its natural responses & mechanisms. It believes it is protecting you. It’s up to you to say thank you.

In reality none of this is rocket science, just sometimes when someone else says it, it lands differently.

Life is too short to run all the time.  Avoiding discomfort is running from something.  The only way we develop strength is by being courageous enough to step into ourselves.  The only way to be vulnerable is to let others see and hear us where we are.

Perhaps knowing and believing those two things, you will be able to stop running and instead embrace the uncomfortable thing to see what beauty is on the other side.

Once you have done it once, you will see the truth in it.  That is all it takes, is that one time to start to see things differently. I promise.

 

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