Forgiving Yourself – It’s A Matter of Survival
Forgiveness is such a hard concept, especially when it applies to ourselves. Yet it is critical to our survival and mental health.
It’s hard enough to forgive others for their actions that hurt us, but when we do something that hurts ourselves it becomes an impossible task.
Quite often guilt & shame are the pieces that hold us up from forgiving ourselves. Guilt is quite often seen as things that we do/have done to others, where shame is more representative of who we are.
Perhaps even more challenging is when we cannot forgive ourselves for things we have done in our pasts. It doesn’t matter to our psyche’s if those things were done at age 2, 22 or 62 – nothing is relative once we have judged ourselves.
I chose the picture of the little boy in the survival jacket to illustrate that most often, the things we have done that we cannot forgive ourselves for, we did for our own survival even at the youngest of ages. Because we weren’t supported in this place and have only our own meanings for our words, thoughts and actions, we validate for ourselves, that we are not worthy of love or forgiveness.
This incorrect belief then plays in all areas of our life, from how we treat ourselves to the people we attract & the treatment we accept of ourselves. But, if you are reading this, I suspect you are beginning to believe that you are worth more than you have experienced to date. This is the first step.
I know that you cannot yet see yourself as that young child, teen or even grown adult, coming from a place of being survival and thus deserving of forgiveness. This is a longer process for us to work on together, but one thing that is for sure, you are not what you have done.