Everybody has a story…
Some are bigger than others, some are filled with drama and others are filled with peace and happiness.
Where it gets confusing is what we make our stories mean about us. When our stories are “good” we usually don’t look into them to see what things may mean. But when they are “bad” it is an opportunity to truly look into things to see if we can grow and “un-learn” some things that don’t serve us.
Without going into too much jargon, basically our cognitive brains don’t develop until we are between 5 – 7 years of age, so anything that happens up until then, we interpret as being “all about us”. In some ways this can help us build confidence, trust, safety and security in our world. But in others, when things are challenging, we take those actions to mean there is something wrong with us.
For example, if your parents are getting a divorce, the concept of love between them doesn’t exist to us as children. The only thing we can come up with based on our cognitive development at that age is that it must be our fault, we must have done something wrong etc.,
If this belief goes uncorrected, this becomes our new starting place for every situation, thought etc., that follows. So from this place of “incorrect” belief about ourselves, we create a new story that has this as its basis and then see everything that enforces this as “evidence” that we are bad, wrong etc., You can see how this can work against us, who we are capable of being in all aspects of our lives.
The hardest part however, is facing your story to begin with – as the impact of our self doubt and self judgment based on these incorrect beliefs, quite often prevent us from even looking at them. But I promise, if you take a few minutes to see things differently, reframe and correct them, your life with change forever.